The past few days have been long, really REALLY long. It was Disciple Now (DNOW) weekend, and my friend and I were group leaders for 12 girls all weekend. When I tell you the girls were awesome, I mean they were AWESOME!!!! It was such a blessing for me to spend the weekend hanging out with them! They have such sweet spirits and hearts that seek the Lord that it's just fantastic for me to get to hang out with them. And they love to laugh- which is ALWAYS a good thing! :)
Now, because it was DNOW, I didn't get much sleep, it just comes with the territory. I am still trying not to get a cold, but we will see how well that goes. I'm hoping that if I get sick it will just be a cold and nothing more (there's a lot of nasty bugs going around and I don't want any of them). Anyway, this is one reason I'm so tired and the past few days have been so long.
The other reason is just family stuff. I will spare you the details, but I have a family member who is have some major health issues. Obviously, this creates some stress and anxiety. I have been trying to deal with the family health concerns on top of DNOW. I wondered several times how I was going to be able to handle it all, and then I arrived at the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to handle it all. I just can't. I'm not strong enough. But God is. Through His strength, I made it through the weekend and it was awesome!
My group of girls was FANTASTIC! But even more awesome than that was what God told me through our times of worship. The Lord revealed to me that I have been looking at the situation with my family member's health from the wrong perspective. I have been looking at God through the worrying and uncertainty of the problem; this only makes the problem seem bigger and God smaller. I should be, and am now choosing to do so, looking at the circumstance through God, and this puts everything in its proper perspective.
God is bigger than any health concern or any problem that we can every face. I am not saying that I'm not concerned, I am. But I am not going to look at the problem in a way that makes me forget that it is God who knows my every thought and holds my every moment. As a Child of God, I know that He holds me in His hand and nothing can take me from Him- NOTHING!
The situation is still scary, and I won't pretend that I'm fearless. I'm scared, and that's ok. God is big enough to handle all of my fears and insecurities. God is big enough to handle anything and everything that I can dish out.
I am learning that this is just another situation in which God can receive glory and show the world how great and awesome He it- and I just get to be part of it! I'm not happy about the situation, but I have joy in the midst of it, because I know that my God is in control and loves me.