Pregnancy Observations

I have been trying to get this post written for about a month now, if not longer. To say our lives are busy would probably be an understatement  The funny thing is, 1/2 of our business belongs to the regular, nothing special, kind of stuff that everyone deals with: laundry, dishes, chores, work etc. But when you mash that up with a stick of butter and the getting ready for baby, figuring out where we're going to live (current apt will be a bit snug, to put it mildly), taxes, etc, then our lives go from normal to "Holy flying cow, Batman!" in about 2.5 nano seconds. Anyway, all that to say, life is a little crazy.

I've been noticing little things as I go throughout my daily routine. Pregnancy is it's own beast. I mean, seriously, people treat you differently, and that may or may not be a good thing. Some days, it seems like your own body is completely foreign, like aliens came in the night and turned you into a strange creature, the likes of which you have never encountered. We all have our own way of doing things, but pregnancy changes the rules and suddenly you're thrust into the 5th inning of a baseball game that involves hockey sticks and tennis balls on a basketball court- the rules have changed and this is a whole new ball game.

I find myself having to learn new ways to do simple tasks, like bending over. I never gave much thought to retrieving a dropped item from the floor, I simply bent over and pick up the item without a second thought. Not so much anymore. I can still bend over (I'm not huge, ya'll! Sheesh!), but it's not quite as easy and I am starting to make sure the item is to my side, rather than directly in front of me. Getting in and out of bed is more interesting, especially if my muscles are stiff. Oh and then there's sleeping. Oh boy. Sleeping is really interesting.

I used to be a very cold- natured person, so much so that my dad took to calling me Freezer Queen. Lately, I've been freezing my husband out of bed. In addition to the fact that I now prefer significantly fewer blankets on the bed, I have been spending the past few months adjusting my sleeping position- and boy has THAT been a transition!

I have also noticed that the way people look at me has changed. It used to be that people would actually look at my face first, but now they look at my belly (and some I can tell are thinking, "OMG She's HUGE!!!) first and then my face. And everyone seems to get this really odd expression that's somewhere between "Awww, ain't that sweet and wonderful!" and "There's a potential volcanic eruption of emotions right under the surface- tread lightly!".

Most women I have talked to have these horror stories of random strangers coming up to them and giving unwanted advice and/or touching their belly. I haven't had much of this. Well, none from strangers, only people I actually know, and that's different. What I have noticed from strangers is a reaction that falls into one of the following categories: 1) look of sympathy because they've been there, 2) a desire to be super helpful and careful (almost to a fault. I'm not going to break or go into labor if you look at me, promise.), and 3) they get this look of horror like pregnancy is a communicable disease and I should be in quarantine from the CDC. All I can say is, people are funny!!! It amazes me out I can encounter 3 different people and get three different responses!

The last thing I have noticed as being a prevailing trend are the comments about my size. Let me say the following, with all due respect and clarity: I am short. I mean, really short. I am 5ft tall. There is no place for this baby to go but out. My doctor is happy with my progress and moderate weight gain. I have not gained any more weight than is healthy and normal. Our last ultrasound showed that our baby is right in the middle of the road as far as size was concerned (42nd percentile)- not too big and not too small. Both baby and I are healthy and usually pretty happy. All this to say, I might look a little bigger than some people think I should, but I'm exactly normal for someone my size and build in her third trimester. Ok, now let me clear up this: I'm not any more concerned with my growing pregnancy size than most people are. Really. It's not always easy and sometimes I can be a little more sensitive about it, but on the whole, I'm really quite happy with my growing belly.

I can honestly say that even though pregnancy can be uncomfortable at times (and sometimes really, really uncomfortable), this pregnancy has been really easy (hoping it continues this way!). I am really enjoying this adventure, and it is most definitely an adventure! There are times I have felt less than great, but I am so deeply blessed than thankful for this season in my life. Each kick and jab is a blessing (even the ones that knock the wind out of me) and a gift that I cannot help but cherish. I know that in just a few short months, the baby will be here and our lives will be completely changed in the most amazing way possible. The adventure will continue- it will be a new adventure called parenthood! Can't wait!

It's Saturday

Well, it's Saturday. I don't know about you, but Saturdays around here are usually crazy busy! I'm glad to say that our Saturdays will now be a little less full, or well, I suppose it is more correct to say that Saturdays will not be minus a few tasks on our ever growing to do lists. Anyway, today is one of those wonderfully, all too infrequent, lazy Saturdays. We still have a few things to do, but there is less to do than normal.

When we have a weekend where we don't have to do something, be somewhere, etc, I like to make brunch. Purely consisting of breakfast food, just served at a time closer to lunch. (Who wants lunch food at brunch anyway?!? Not me!) It's really nice to make something different than a quick piece of toast and scrambled egg. Brunch food around here isn't fancy. Sometimes, it's quickly thrown together drop biscuits and sausage gravy. If we are on the go, it's cinnamon rolls from a can. Today, it was the easiest breakfast casserole recipe from my mom. Yes, I know those foods aren't particularly healthy, but they have their place as long as it's in moderation. After all, the great Julia Child said, "Everything in moderation, including moderation." :)

I can't help but wonder how different these kind of Saturdays will be once the baby is here. I know they will be drastically different, I just wonder about how. In what ways will they be different? It's exciting to think about those kind of changes for me! I'm guessing that I will be up waaaay earlier than currently, and I'm thinking there will be more coffee involved than now. I probably won't be making biscuits and gravy, but then again, I might.

Cooking is therapy for me. Last night, I made pizza for the first time in months. It was blissful. And the husband raved over and over about how good it was! It was a simple, bum around the house night. We ate homemade pizza and drank coke for dinner while we watched "The West Wing" on Netflix. Simple. No-frills. Just us being us. It's easy to get nostalgic with so much change headed for us in the next few months. It's easy to get overwhelmed with how fast everything is already changing and all that we have left to do before the baby arrives. But in spite of it all the hustle and bustle and loosing my mind from the craziness of an ever-growing to do list, I love my life. It's not perfect, but life doesn't have to be perfect to be great.

I am learning and growing. I'm seeing myself in a new light. Maybe it's that I'm seeing the same old me in a different perspective. I still struggle with the same issues, although I am noticing that they are perhaps magnified and/or manifested in a different way than before. I am finding more enjoyment out of the small things in life. I get excited when there's a sale of diapers. I find myself dreaming of nursery rhymes and toothless grins. It's the little things.

I still have moments when I get overwhelmed with everything (but hey, who doesn't?!) but they pass and I move forward. I dream of baby dedication at church, surrounded by family and friends- what a special day that will be?! I dream of my child loving Jesus and loving people. I dream. That's how I'm spending my Saturday. It's bliss.

Well, This is Awkward...

You know those times when you have a brilliant, completely masterful plan? Well, we've passed that. I had a plan... Aaaand things didn't go the way I planned, which is why the following announcement is going to be well, a little awkward.

Drum roll please... WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!! That's right, the husband and I are expecting our first little bundle of joy!!!! I'm sure you're probably wondering, "What makes this so awkward?" Well, the thing is, we didn't just find out that I'm pregnant, we kinda found out a few months ago.

This was my plan: wait and post about the pregnancy the week we enter the second trimester. Well, we've been in the second trimester for a little while now and I'm just now finding the time to post anything. You know what they say about the best laid plans...

Anyway, Baby and I are both doing well. I am very thankful that my first trimester was fairly mild; very light morning sickness (and BTW, a man must have come up with the term "morning sickness" because any pregnant woman it's not limited to the just mornings, it's all the time!). I was really, REALLY tired, and I couldn't gook anything! That's right- I DIDN'T COOK for the better part of 3 months. Thankfully, I am back cooking away again and my energy is coming back.

I have read all kinds of things about how most women won't start showing until they are at least 12 weeks along and how you can make your regular clothes work through the second trimester. Yeah, right. I started showing at 8 weeks! Not even kidding. I'm short, as in 4-6 inches shorter than the average woman. This means, there ain't anywhere for this baby to go but out.

Sometimes, I feel HUGE and I'm a little touchy about it, but my drs (general practitioner and and OBGYN) aren't worried about anything. My weight gain is under control (thank God!) and all other signs are good- Baby and Momma are both happy and healthy!

We are thrilled and can't wait for Little Bit to get here!!!! Until then, we are thrilled about each milestone that we pass as my pregnancy progresses!

What's on my mind right now...

Ok, I know I haven't posted in a really long time, but here's a little something to tide you over until I can finish the few things I'm working on and post about them in a couple weeks.

Today, my mind is completely filled with the following...

Yep, that's right. I'm thinking about cinnamon rolls. Random, I know, but I really, REALLY want to make a big batch of them. I don't know why, but that's what I wish I could do. So, here are some more pictures of yumminess. 

These are actually orange marmalade rolls. Same difference. 

Oh, and these beauties are chocolate chip cookie rolls  :) 

Ok, I'm sure I've made you all very hungry right now. Good. Now go make some cinnamon rolls since I don't have time to do it today and tell me how they are ;) 

Credit: All of these photos and recipes are from The Pioneer Woman and are available at her website.

Growing Up

So, I haven't posted in a while. There's a reason for that, but I'm afraid it isn't an all that great kind of reason. But, here it is: I've been busy with life and just haven't had anything to say.... Like I said, it's not very good, but it is true. To be honest, right now there are about 10,000 other things I could (maybe even should) be doing before I go into the office, but right now, I want some "me time". I am drinking my coffee, (now iced because I didn't get it finished before it cooled off and I hate reheating coffee in the microwave), while sitting in my recliner (oh how I love this chair!) and blogging.

To be honest, there is very little that has been exciting lately. My life is very ordinary. I work 40 hrs a week, have a great husband and 2 kitty-cats to take care of, an apartment to clean, hobbies to try and squeeze in a midst the necessity of seeing family and friends, work at the office, working at home, etc. Life is ordinary but very busy. Sometimes, life is overwhelming. Every fee like you just can't do it all? Yeah, I feel ya. Totally there.

This time last year, I was getting ready to start my first "big girl job" (aka full-time) while I was still a student. I was excited. Now, I can honestly say that I don't remember the first 4 months of my job. Why? The whole full-time job and full-time student combination was crazy, and I really, really don't remember most of it. I wish I did, but I'm guessing that it's a good thing I don't :).

I can also say that I miss being a student. (I know, I'm a total geek. Oh well, I've made peace with it.) Seriously, I miss learning, going to class, the sense of community, books- I miss school. (But I can say with total certainty that I DO NOT miss tests/exams or writing papers all the time. Never.) There is so much promise when you are a student. You can do anything. Be anything. Dream anything. Do anything. Now that I'm a "grown up", or at the very least have a grown up job, that sense of promise and feeling of the sky being my limit is not as prevalent as it used to be. I'm not trying to be melodramatic here. I know that I'm still young and that I have lots of years left ahead of me to do whatever with and make my own, but it's not quite the same.

This past year has really been a year for growing up very quickly. Perhaps too quickly. I'm not saying that I don't love me life- I truly, LOVE MY LIFE! But that doesn't mean it has been easy, or that given the chance I would do things a little differently. Oh well, there's no changing the past.

So now what? Well, now I just keep growing. Growing in Jesus. Growing as a wife, sister, daughter, friend. Growing as an employee. Growing as me. I haven't gotten this whole balance thing down yet and I'm pretty sure that no one does (makes me feel good to realize that). Each day, I have the chance to learn more about Jesus and to learn more about myself. Each day, I can choose to be more like Jesus that I was yesterday and each day I can choose to do things differently than I did the day before.

Maybe that sense of promise is still there, but maybe it's just packaged differently. What do you think?

Waiting

I have seriously been working on this post for several weeks. Seriously. We have had a death in the family (more on that at a later time) and, in addition to that, I haven't been able to gather my thoughts so that what has been in my heart will make sense to anyone else. I think I'm finally at a place where I can say what's been in my heart and do so in such a way that (hopefully) it all makes sense. (PS: I am leaving most of this in the tense it was originally written). Thank you for letting me share my heart with you.

Do you ever have those moments where the Lord speaks so clearly that you look around to see if someone is else is in the room with you? I just had one of those moments. My friend Lisa, just started a new blog about her family and how they are journeying through the loss of their older son/brother and holding tightly to the Lord's loving hand. Last week, Lisa posted a video of a song that played on the radio and really spoke to her heart. The song is "While I'm Waiting". I had read Lisa's other posts but hadn't watched/listened to the video yet (just got a new computer and my old one wouldn't play the video). As I watched the video today, I realized why the song had spoken to Lisa, but then I realized that the Lord had a message for me too.

"While I'm Waiting" talks about waiting for the Lord with hope and patience. It talks about worshiping and serving while we wait for Him. The Lord reminded me that we are to wait for Him and for His timing. Sometimes, I feel like my life has been spent waiting. As a child, I waited until I was a grownup to do things I thought were cool but wasn't allowed to do (like staying up past my bedtime, driving, etc). I waited for the husband God had chosen for me. I waited for a 'big girl' job for over a year after completing the interview process. Sometimes, I feel like I have waited for my life to begin.

As Christians, we do a lot of waiting. But waiting is not an excuse to do nothing. We are to wait with expectancy. We are to wait with hope. We are to wait with patience. Some days, it seems like I want to pull my hair out with all of this waiting! Let's face it, I'm human and not always filled with hope, or patience, or expectancy. Some days, I just want to tell the Lord what He can do with all this waiting- give it to someone else and give me what I want right then! Praise Him for Grace everyday, and especially on those days when I'm extra cranky because He must grant me an extra portion on those days when I'm acting more like a spoiled child than the Christ follower He created me to be.

Isaiah 40:31 tells us, "... those who wait on the LORD will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary". Years ago, I learned from a precious Sunday school teacher and family friend that "wait" implies resting in the Lord. We gain our strength and the ability to soar like eagles when we rest on Who our God is and recognizing what He has done. He is Who He says He is, does what He says He will do and He doesn't change.

The original Hebrew uses a word for "wait" that means "to wait expectantly for". Think of it as a child on Christmas Eve waiting for the night to end and the morning to begin, or knowing that something you ordered online is set to arrive tomorrow- you'd be pretty excited, right? Well, that is the idea is that when we are waiting to hear from the Lord, see Him work in our lives/a circumstance (btw, I know that for me personally, He often uses my circumstances to draw me closer to Him and thus does a work in me, and not necessarily my situation), etc we should wait expecting Him to do something. The kicker though, is that we should be waiting with the realization that what He is doing is far greater than we could ever imagine, meaning, we should not wait expecting Him to act in a specific way that we have deemed necessary through our prideful and preconceived notions. We can always expect Him to act in such a manner that is totally a completely in line with His character as is revealed through Scripture.

Waiting isn't easy, it's difficult. But waiting is good for us. Those times in our lives when it feels like all we do is wait for The Lord are precious moments- a gift- that are completely unique from other times and seasons in our lives. I am learning that our seasons of waiting often have special lessons, and in some cases, I have a more teachable spirit (not always the case, but sometimes it is).

Waiting is not an excuse to do nothing. Waiting isn't easy, it doesn't come naturally for me. I'm not writing this post because I think I've got it all figured out. The truth is, I don't have it figured out at all. This post is coming directly from my heart and what the Lord spoke to me. I think that if I'm learning about waiting, I want to share it because someone else out there is probably learning it too.

So this is where I am, learning about waiting and learning to wait on the LORD's timing. Sometimes I wish I had His watch, but that would defeat the purpose. Our challenge is to wait with hope, expecting God to do something far greater than we could ever have imagined. Our challenge is to take action when we wait- to continue serving, loving, worshiping. I don't know if waiting ever gets easier, but I know that with each season of waiting, we learn something new about our Father and that's a precious gift. Our challenge is is remember that waiting is not an excuse to do nothing. 

A sweet friend of mine recently shared a blog post she found. I read the post and loved it so much that I am linking it here so you can read it too. I can honestly say that I wish I had read this sooner because it really gives a great reminder to those of us who are married and is a great view of a Christian marriage for those of you out there who aren't married. I hope it will bless you, married or single, as much as it has blessed me.

http://gracefullmama.com/20-things-i-want-to-tell-engaged-and-newlywed-women/