I have seriously been working on this post for several weeks. Seriously. We have had a death in the family (more on that at a later time) and, in addition to that, I haven't been able to gather my thoughts so that what has been in my heart will make sense to anyone else. I think I'm finally at a place where I can say what's been in my heart and do so in such a way that (hopefully) it all makes sense. (PS: I am leaving most of this in the tense it was originally written). Thank you for letting me share my heart with you.
Do you ever have those moments where the Lord speaks so clearly that you look around to see if someone is else is in the room with you? I just had one of those moments. My friend Lisa, just started a new blog about her family and how they are journeying through the loss of their older son/brother and holding tightly to the Lord's loving hand. Last week, Lisa posted a video of a song that played on the radio and really spoke to her heart. The song is "While I'm Waiting". I had read Lisa's other posts but hadn't watched/listened to the video yet (just got a new computer and my old one wouldn't play the video). As I watched the video today, I realized why the song had spoken to Lisa, but then I realized that the Lord had a message for me too.
"While I'm Waiting" talks about waiting for the Lord with hope and patience. It talks about worshiping and serving while we wait for Him. The Lord reminded me that we are to wait for Him and for His timing. Sometimes, I feel like my life has been spent waiting. As a child, I waited until I was a grownup to do things I thought were cool but wasn't allowed to do (like staying up past my bedtime, driving, etc). I waited for the husband God had chosen for me. I waited for a 'big girl' job for over a year after completing the interview process. Sometimes, I feel like I have waited for my life to begin.
As Christians, we do a lot of waiting. But waiting is not an excuse to do nothing. We are to wait with expectancy. We are to wait with hope. We are to wait with patience. Some days, it seems like I want to pull my hair out with all of this waiting! Let's face it, I'm human and not always filled with hope, or patience, or expectancy. Some days, I just want to tell the Lord what He can do with all this waiting- give it to someone else and give me what I want right then! Praise Him for Grace everyday, and especially on those days when I'm extra cranky because He must grant me an extra portion on those days when I'm acting more like a spoiled child than the Christ follower He created me to be.
Isaiah 40:31 tells us, "... those who wait on the LORD will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary". Years ago, I learned from a precious Sunday school teacher and family friend that "wait" implies resting in the Lord. We gain our strength and the ability to soar like eagles when we rest on Who our God is and recognizing what He has done. He is Who He says He is, does what He says He will do and He doesn't change.
The original Hebrew uses a word for "wait" that means "to wait expectantly for". Think of it as a child on Christmas Eve waiting for the night to end and the morning to begin, or knowing that something you ordered online is set to arrive tomorrow- you'd be pretty excited, right? Well, that is the idea is that when we are waiting to hear from the Lord, see Him work in our lives/a circumstance (btw, I know that for me personally, He often uses my circumstances to draw me closer to Him and thus does a work in me, and not necessarily my situation), etc we should wait expecting Him to do something. The kicker though, is that we should be waiting with the realization that what He is doing is far greater than we could ever imagine, meaning, we should not wait expecting Him to act in a specific way that we have deemed necessary through our prideful and preconceived notions. We can always expect Him to act in such a manner that is totally a completely in line with His character as is revealed through Scripture.
Waiting isn't easy, it's difficult. But waiting is good for us. Those times in our lives when it feels like all we do is wait for The Lord are precious moments- a gift- that are completely unique from other times and seasons in our lives. I am learning that our seasons of waiting often have special lessons, and in some cases, I have a more teachable spirit (not always the case, but sometimes it is).
Waiting is not an excuse to do nothing. Waiting isn't easy, it doesn't come naturally for me. I'm not writing this post because I think I've got it all figured out. The truth is, I don't have it figured out at all. This post is coming directly from my heart and what the Lord spoke to me. I think that if I'm learning about waiting, I want to share it because someone else out there is probably learning it too.
So this is where I am, learning about waiting and learning to wait on the LORD's timing. Sometimes I wish I had His watch, but that would defeat the purpose. Our challenge is to wait with hope, expecting God to do something far greater than we could ever have imagined. Our challenge is to take action when we wait- to continue serving, loving, worshiping. I don't know if waiting ever gets easier, but I know that with each season of waiting, we learn something new about our Father and that's a precious gift. Our challenge is is remember that waiting is not an excuse to do nothing.