Thoughts on weddings...

As usual, I have posted anything in several months. The reason for this are simple: I didn't have time. Over the past two semester in school I have pulled about 80 hours per week in classes, homework, service hours, and working so there hasn't been a whole lot of time left over and the time that was remaining I devoted to family and friends.

The impact of my lack of posting is that I have not had time to share some very wonderful news: I'm engaged! Yes, that's right- I'm getting married! I got to hear those wonderful words that every little girl (i.e: every little American girl) longs to hear: "(insert name here) will you marry me?" Most women answer yes immediately, but not me! All I could say was, "Are you serious?!?!?!?" I was so shocked that I couldn't really believe what was happening! I did eventually say "yes" and now we are happily engaged to be married early next spring!

Below is a picture of my engagement ring! It is absolutely perfect- the ring of my dreams!



I really can't wait to be married! I'm going to be a Mrs! I'm going to be a WIFE! Gosh, that's amazing and hard to believe! I feel like it was only yesterday that I was a very little girl dreaming of the beautiful white gown and walking down the isle to Trumpet Voluntary (by Clark).

Growing up, I used to accompany my Dad to some of the different weddings where he would play him trumpet. Dad still plays for weddings (and other events). It was there, as a little girl listening to her Daddy play his trumpet for the weddings of other people that I arrived as several conclusions:

1. No two brides are the same but every bride is beautiful.
2. My Dad plays trumpet better than anyone else in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!! Ok, this is a biased perspective because I am a Daddy's girl, but I've heard a LOT of people play trumpet and very few even come close to playing as well as my Dad!
3. Every bride should have Trumpet Voluntary played at her wedding.
4. I WILL have Trumpet Voluntary played at my wedding! Period!
5. I want to be a bride someday.

It is really mind blowing to think that I am a bride! I always thought that I would feel grown up when I would be planning my wedding, but the realist is that I do not. I feel like me, myself, as I have always felt... but now I am making some very grownup decisions.

All things considered, wedding planning is amazing and totally fun... most of the time. This is not to say that it isn't stressful at times- it is. But it is easier when you have good people around you reminding you that the most important thing is to get married. Truthfully, I am that "Princess Bride" and I always have been. I want the big wedding (I'm getting the big wedding) with the gorgeous gown and veil and shoes, the beautiful flowers, the music, the family and friends, etc. But all of this is not what makes a marriage. It is easy to get caught up in all the hype of wedding planning, but at the end of the road, all of the little details that seem so huge are just that, little details and as long as you are married, those little details do not matter to most people... and I have been told that on the day of the wedding, they don't matter to you either (I'll let ya know if that's how I feel on the wedding day; I'm sure it will hang true).

I honestly can't wait to marry David! I am so very, VERY blessed by God to have such a wonderful future husband! It's hard to believe that in less than 250 days I will be a married woman!

I am still in school; when I graduate from college, I will have a degree in Judaic Studies. This 99.9% of the time gets the following reaction: "Really!?! Wow... So what are you going to do when you graduate?" I tell you this because the other day I told someone the following: "I don't care. I'm getting married in the spring!" If only you could have seen the shock on her face- CLASSIC! I love it! At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do with a degree in Jewish studies, but I do know this: my God is faithful. He has shown His faithfulness to me over and over, and He will continue to show His faithfulness to me as David and I enter into the next chapter of our lives as individuals and our life as a couple.

I'm sooooooo excited I can't even begin to really explain it!!!!! Anyway, these are some of my thoughts on weddings and such!

SE

A Change in Perspective

The past few days have been long, really REALLY long. It was Disciple Now (DNOW) weekend, and my friend and I were group leaders for 12 girls all weekend. When I tell you the girls were awesome, I mean they were AWESOME!!!! It was such a blessing for me to spend the weekend hanging out with them! They have such sweet spirits and hearts that seek the Lord that it's just fantastic for me to get to hang out with them. And they love to laugh- which is ALWAYS a good thing! :)
Now, because it was DNOW, I didn't get much sleep, it just comes with the territory. I am still trying not to get a cold, but we will see how well that goes. I'm hoping that if I get sick it will just be a cold and nothing more (there's a lot of nasty bugs going around and I don't want any of them). Anyway, this is one reason I'm so tired and the past few days have been so long.
The other reason is just family stuff. I will spare you the details, but I have a family member who is have some major health issues. Obviously, this creates some stress and anxiety. I have been trying to deal with the family health concerns on top of DNOW. I wondered several times how I was going to be able to handle it all, and then I arrived at the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to handle it all. I just can't. I'm not strong enough. But God is. Through His strength, I made it through the weekend and it was awesome!
My group of girls was FANTASTIC! But even more awesome than that was what God told me through our times of worship. The Lord revealed to me that I have been looking at the situation with my family member's health from the wrong perspective. I have been looking at God through the worrying and uncertainty of the problem; this only makes the problem seem bigger and God smaller. I should be, and am now choosing to do so, looking at the circumstance through God, and this puts everything in its proper perspective.
God is bigger than any health concern or any problem that we can every face. I am not saying that I'm not concerned, I am. But I am not going to look at the problem in a way that makes me forget that it is God who knows my every thought and holds my every moment. As a Child of God, I know that He holds me in His hand and nothing can take me from Him- NOTHING!
The situation is still scary, and I won't pretend that I'm fearless. I'm scared, and that's ok. God is big enough to handle all of my fears and insecurities. God is big enough to handle anything and everything that I can dish out.
I am learning that this is just another situation in which God can receive glory and show the world how great and awesome He it- and I just get to be part of it! I'm not happy about the situation, but I have joy in the midst of it, because I know that my God is in control and loves me.

Randomness

Yes, I know it has been a while since I wrote anything, life has been crazy busy the past little while. School is proving to require more work than I thought, but that's ok, classes are interesting but I'm a bit tired of homework. Funny to think that there is only about a month and a half left till the semester is over... time flies.
I am currently listening to the soundtrack "Pride and Prejudice" (2005) as I unwind from a long day. I am trying to think of what all has happened in the past month or so since I last posted anything... it's not that things haven't happened, but that I can't think of what exactly you would find interesting. Bear with me... ummmmm..... I turned 22 about a week ago and had an amazing birthday!!!!! Although I'm pretty sure that if you are reading this blog you already know that.
Lately though, God has been teaching me about trust. I never really saw myself as a person with trust issues until this year, but now I see that I am not as trusting as I thought I was. Anyway, the Lord has been showing me that often when I am struggling to trust someone and it has nothing to do with something done or said, the problem is not with that other person but with me. The ultimate issue isn't with whether or not I trust this other person, but with whether or not I trust God.
If I claim to love and follow God, it is required that I trust Him. Faith requires trust, plain and simple. My faith, my hope, my security is in Christ alone. He is my Rock in good time and in difficult times.
My prayer for the past week or so has been, "Lord, I don't love you like I should. Please, help me to love you more. Lord, I don't trust you like I should- help me to trust you more."
This post has gotten more heavy than I had planned, but then again I didn't have much of a plan. Oh! Yes, this is random but I've downloaded Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD "Beauty will Rise" and it is beautiful! The album is very transparent and such an encouragement to me! I love the courage it takes to be that authentic- listen to it if you can. Well, that's all for now- time to get some much needed sleep. Bye!

A good day :)

Have you had a good day? Have you had an okay day? A bad day? A day you wish you could forget? A day so wonderful that you wish it didn't have to end? A day when you were incandescently happy, even for only one moment?

Have you ever noticed that we ask people "how are you" (or some variation of it) and never really wait to get an answer? So seriously, HOW ARE YOU? How is LIFE? No, I'm not asking just to ask or just to be polite. I'm asking because I truly want to know.

Today was a good day... a really good day, I hope yours was too and would love to hear about it if you have the time or desire to share with me.

Saying GoodBye to Teddy Kennedy

I can say that I have never thought very much about Sen. Ted Kennedy. My politics and his clashed in almost every way possible. Being the passionate Irish person that I am, it is easy for me to get all worked up over, well, almost anything. Watching clips on the news from the Senate floor with Kennedy speaking often irritated me to the extent that I was yelling at the TV. (Actually yelling at the TV isn’t a very uncommon thing, oh that Irish blood which courses through my veins!)
Now that Sen. Kennedy is gone, I feel as though I have lost something, someone. I obviously did not know the Senator personally, but I think I would have liked to have known him. He seemed to be the kind of person who could have taught me a lot. The one question that still remains in my mind is “Senator, did you know Jesus?” I can only speculate...

A Real Welcome

I said that I would give you a proper welcome so here it is: Welcome to my blog, Beauty from Ashes. This is a place where I will basically post an assortment of thoughts, experiences, musings, and whatnot for you, the dear Reader to love, hate, laugh at, and otherwise enjoy.
The name for this blog comes out of Isaiah 61:3 which says, "...To all who mourn in Israel,he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. (New Living Translation).

You may be thinking, "Okay, that's nice but what does that have to do with the name of this blog?" Allow me to answer that question: I chose to name my blog Beauty from Ashes because that passage in Isaiah has meant sooo much to me these past few months. Why? The past six months of my life have been a wild ride at the least. I won't go into detail because there is no need, nor do I think that you would really be interested in everything that has happened, but sufficient to say, it has been a challenging time with lots of tears. I see all that has happened and all that I have walked through as being ashes in my life, the worthless stuff that I can't do anything with, the pain that seems to have no rhyme or reason. But that is only what these circumstances are in my hands and in my limited perspective. God's plan is not that these "ashes" remain worthless and seemingly pointless in my life. Over the past few months, He has been using the painful experiences to draw me closer to Himself, teaching me about who He is and who I am. He has taken all the pain and sorrow and is turning it into joy and beauty. He is not done, by any strech of the imagination- I know that I still have a long way to go. I feel as though I have come, in some small way into Beauty from the Ashes.

If you have questions, comments, thoughts, or whatever, please feel free to post them- I'd love to hear from you!

an official greeting coming later

ok, so an official "welcome to my bolg" will come later. Till then, go listen to "Perfect people" by Natalie Grant- it's fantastic!